Why Would a Child Hate a Loving Parent?

 How to Reverse Parental Alienation 

By Ginger Gentile

"I hate you mommy!" “Go away dad!” those words cut like a knife into your heart. The truth is, your child doesn’t actually hate you—they have been conditioned to believe they should by the other parent or step-parent. A child being taught to hate their loving parent is called parental alienation. 

And even worse, maybe encouraged “to express their emotions” by their therapist. 

Depending on how you respond in that moment, you can build a bridge to a better relationship, or make that hatred real. 

I’ll get into how to build that bridge later in this article. 

Why should you read on? Because I said those words to my dad. As an alienated child, I believed that these second hand emotions were mine. But they weren’t mine, they were my mom's. 

And my dad’s response made it worse.

I don’t want you to make those mistakes. 

That is why I dedicate myself to helping parents like you. And I’m not doing it alone! I formed Reversing Parental Alienation, a coaching organization that reunites moms and dads (and also grandparents) to reunite with their children quickly, easily–even joyfully!

How? Our secret sauce is that all of us here are alienated kids and parents that have successfully reunited. We know how to do it, and we can show you, too. 

Is Reconnecting With My Child Possible Even If When They Say They "Hate Me?"

An alienated mom reunites in record time—

Before we walk you through the steps. . . be inspired by this story. If she can do it, so can you!

Mary (not her real name) came to our first coaching session complaining that her son would come to visit, but shut his door to his room, blasting and coming out only to yell at her. “You are a b–tch,” he’d yell, echoing his father. Mary left an abusive relationship only to be abused by her son. 

She’d break down and cry. “This isn’t why I became a mom.”

Together we worked on a two-fold approach: not letting it bother her (that was the goal), while creating a firm boundary—her son could express his feelings but not use foul language. 

Firmness with love. 

Her son calmed down. First it was silent treatment, but that was better than cursing! 

Then he started sending her text messages (with emojis) even when he was in the house with her. And finally calm, conversations that were light and loving. Then a hug!

By having a game plan tailored to her situation, this mom was able to go from alienated to accepted. 

This is the power of our methodology. And this can be your story too.

Does Your Did Actually Hate You? Or Are They Just Parroting the Other Parent? 

The Psychology Behind Parental Alienation

Children naturally crave love and security. When they reject a loving parent, it’s often not their own thoughts but rather the influence of an alienating parent who has conditioned them to believe you are unsafe, unworthy, or absent.

• Conditioning & Fear: Your ex may have subtly (or aggressively) convinced your child that loving you is disloyal to them.
• Survival Mechanism: Your child may depend on your ex emotionally or even financially, making them align with their perspective.
• Reinforced Narratives: Every eye roll, sarcastic remark, or outright hateful statement from your child may stem from repeated messaging about you being the "bad" parent.
• Trauma Response: Your child may suppress their love for you because it’s emotionally safer to conform to the alienating parent's version of reality.

This is not your child's fault. And more importantly—it’s not permanent.

The REVIVE Roadmap: Transforming Parents Into Magnets That Attract Their Children Back

At Reversing Parental Alienation, we don’t just teach you how to “wait it out” or send the perfect text—we help you become the parent your child can’t resist returning to.

Our REVIVE methodology takes you through a step-by-step process, each letter stands for an important step. All parents who reunite follow these steps, in this order. 

Let’s focus on I, improve communication skills. 

I – Improve Communication Skills

We teach you proven communication strategies to bypass defensiveness and resentment, making it safe for your child to engage with you again. We have scripts and templates, and I can also step in as the “Erased Child Whisperer” but that isn't the secret sauce I was referring to earlier in this article! The solution lies in our ability to tailor strategies just for you. A mom who has been a pushover needs a different plan than a dad who is resentful. We got you. 

The ONE Problem That Only We Can Solve While Trying to Get Your Child Back 

If you’re thinking, "But my situation is different… my child is too far gone…"—stop right there.

Your child still loves you.

They may not be able to show it yet, but it’s there, buried under layers of conditioning and fear.

The problem is, most parents try to fix this alone—or worse, they follow generic advice that backfires. The REVIVE Roadmap is designed specifically for parents dealing with parental alienation, not just generic divorce issues. 

We have helped parents with years of alienation stop it. 

What You Can Do Right Now

If your child is rejecting you, you’re not alone. Many parents feel stuck, unsure of what to do next. The good news? There’s a path forward.

Our REVIVE Roadmap program has helped parents like you reconnect in meaningful ways. If you’re curious about how it works, take a look—you may find it resonates with you.

Big Hugs, 

Ginger Gentile