Shared Parenting is a Shield Against Parental Alienation

Divorce shattered my childhood. Like any child, I simply needed to love both my parents. That's the core of shared parenting. But I also lived through the insidious pain of parental alienation – one parent deliberately turning me against the other. It's a theft of a child's fundamental right to love and be loved. Now, as a coach at Reversing Parental Alienation, I witness this heartbreak daily. My personal journey fuels my fight for change.

Shared parenting, at its heart, is balance: both parents actively involved in a child's life. Research is clear – kids thrive with this consistent connection to both their roots. They deserve the unique strengths and love each parent offers. Yet, the reality in many places is starkly different. The National Parents Organization (NPO) Shared Parenting Report Card reveals the alarming truth: many states fail to prioritize shared parenting in their laws, inadvertently creating pathways for alienation to take hold. This systemic failure demands our urgent attention. For this reason, 

Reversing Parental Alienation is Joining Forces With The National Parents Organization For Their 2025 Shared Parenting Report Card Press Conference Event

You Can Register For Free Here: 
2025 Shared Parenting Report Card Virtual Press Conference & National Meeting

We are also offering two scholarships to our group coaching program, the Reversing Parental Alienation Roadmap, to NPO members suffering from this abuse. 

Parental Alienation is Not Accidental

One parent systematically works to poison a child's perception of the other, weaving narratives of negativity and fear. I remember the subtle erosion of trust, the carefully planted seeds of doubt that chipped away at a vital relationship. Now, as a coach, I see these tactics repeated, leaving children confused, anxious, and torn. It's a profound betrayal of a child's innocence and their right to their own truth.

Shared parenting, when truly embraced legally and socially, acts as a powerful shield against this devastation. When dual involvement is the expected norm, as the NPO advocates, it sends a clear message: both parents are essential. Consistent, regular contact, a cornerstone of shared parenting, makes it harder for alienating behaviors to isolate a child and control the narrative. Joint decision-making fosters collaboration, limiting the opportunity for one parent to undermine the other. Furthermore, a societal emphasis on shared parenting demands we recognize and address alienating behaviors swiftly and effectively. Legal frameworks must support early intervention and reunification efforts, guided by expertise in this complex dynamic.

Yet, my heart aches when I see how often this beautiful vision is clouded by the harsh realities of our legal systems. The National Parents Organization (NPO) Shared Parenting Report Card shines a stark light on this disparity, revealing how many states still cling to outdated sole-custody models. As someone who believes deeply in the inherent right of a child to both parents, these low grades are a call to action. Our laws should be paving the way for shared parenting, not inadvertently creating fertile ground for alienation to take root.

Parental Alienation: A Deliberate Heartbreak, Witnessed and Lived

Parental alienation isn't just a legal term; it's a deeply personal wound. It's the systematic effort by one parent to poison a child's perception of the other, weaving a web of negativity and fear. I remember the subtle whispers, the carefully crafted stories that chipped away at my connection with one of my parents. It’s a form of emotional manipulation that robs a child of their own authentic feelings and distorts their reality.

Now, as a coach at [Your Website: Reversing Parental Alienation], I hold space for the raw pain of targeted parents and the silent suffering of alienated children. I see the confusion in their eyes, the loyalty conflicts tearing them apart. The tactics used by alienating parents – the badmouthing, the interference with contact, the creation of false narratives – are all too familiar, echoing the shadows of my own past.

The Antagonistic Dance: Alienation Crushing the Hope of Shared Parenting

Alienation and shared parenting are fundamentally at odds. Where one seeks to build bridges of connection, the other methodically burns them down. The alienating parent actively works to erase the other from the child's life, creating an environment of hostility and fear. It’s not just about hurting the other parent; it’s about weaponizing the child’s love and trust, forcing them into an impossible allegiance. The very balance and security that shared parenting promises are shattered by the deliberate acts of alienation.

How Shared Parenting Frameworks, When Truly Embraced, Can Shield Our Children

While the scars of my own experience remind me that no system is foolproof, I firmly believe that a strong societal and legal commitment to shared parenting can offer vital protection against the cruelty of alienation:

• Creating a Culture of Dual Importance: When our laws and our communities champion shared parenting as the starting point, it sends a powerful message: both parents matter, both are essential. This can act as a deterrent, making a parent think twice before attempting to undermine the other’s role.
• Nurturing Consistent Connection: Shared parenting often involves clear, consistent schedules that ensure a child’s regular presence in both homes. From my own healing journey and the families I guide, I know that this predictability and consistent positive contact are lifelines for a child’s sense of security and their ability to maintain healthy bonds.
• Fostering Collaboration, Not Conflict: When parents are legally and socially encouraged to make decisions together, it opens the door for communication and reduces the power of one parent to unilaterally control the narrative or exclude the other. While the path can be bumpy, this collaborative spirit is a powerful antidote to the isolation that alienation thrives on.
• Raising Our Collective Awareness: When shared parenting is valued, we become more attuned to the behaviors that undermine it. We learn to recognize the subtle and not-so-subtle signs of alienation, prompting earlier intervention and support. As a coach, a significant part of my work is educating others to see these red flags and understand their devastating impact.
• Providing a Pathway for Healing: In cases where alienation takes hold, a framework that prioritizes the child’s right to both parents provides a legal and therapeutic basis for intervention. 

Our Responsibility: Vigilance, Education, and Heart-Centered Guidance

My personal experience and my work as a coach have taught me that vigilance is key. Alienation often wears a mask of concern or protection. We must educate ourselves – parents, legal professionals, educators – to see beyond the surface and understand the underlying dynamics. For those walking this difficult path, finding guidance from someone who understands the emotional and psychological toll of alienation is invaluable. It’s about offering a compassionate hand and a clear path toward healing and reconnection.

My own healing and years of guiding families through this painful landscape have taught me this: Shared parenting offers children the best chance to navigate divorce with their hearts intact. Parental alienation is a deliberate act of emotional harm. We must demand systemic change, informed by resources like the NPO report card. We must educate ourselves to recognize and confront alienation. Every child deserves the unwavering love and support of both parents, free from manipulation and fear. This isn't just a legal principle; it's a fundamental human right, one I am deeply committed to protecting.