To Gift or not to gift?

by Ginger Gentile, Coach Reversing Parental Alienation 

Many parents ask me if they should send gifts to their children, especially when their children have not been in contact with them. 

I advise my parents to always be generous and kind, because a parental love is an unconditional love. 

However this does not mean that you need to get expensive gifts or fulfill a list that they get for you. 

Instead, pick out a small but very emotionally significant gift. Books are great for this purpose. 

If in doubt, always get something a little older than what your child is right now, and they'll be able to grow into this. You never want to insult your child by giving them something that makes them feel too young. 

Acknowledge their growth. 

You might even say, because you're becoming a young woman or young man, I got you this business book son, Daughter. 

“I hope you don't make the same mistakes as me when you get older. So I got you this book on relationships.” 

It could also be something emotionally significant.

 A fishing rod, some sort of arts and crafts that you did together.

Before you send the gift, take a photo of the gift. That way you can text your child, or if they ever ask you for proof. 

If you text your child, just say as you know, the post office has been having trouble lately and has been losing and delaying a lot of mail deliveries. I just wanted to make sure that you got this. Never infer that the other parent did anything not to give them the gift. 

If there are larger gifts you want to give them, feel free to do so and it's fine to say I want to give them to you in person.