Fight or Give Up on My Alienated Child

By Karin Mendez

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Parental alienation is a painful reality for countless families, tearing apart relationships and leaving parents questioning whether they should continue the fight or simply give up because it’s too exhausting and heart breaking.

In a recent Facebook Live event, Ginger Gentile, the Director of the Erasing Family documentary, delved into this heart-wrenching dilemma, addressing the struggles faced by alienated parents and providing insights into a third way—a path of healing, preparation, and eventual reunification. 

Understanding the Alienation Struggle

Ginger empathetically acknowledged the situation of alienated parents, highlighting the emotional turmoil they experience. "Parents who are alienated are always asking me, should I give up or should I fight for my alienated child?" she shared.

The pain of being alienated is akin to mourning the loss of a living child, a sentiment often overlooked by society. The struggle is compounded by societal indifference, financial strain due to legal battles, and the constant emotional strain of reaching out to children who respond with hostility.

"Does any of this sound familiar to you?" Ginger asked her viewers, underscoring the universality of this heartrending experience. Alienated parents face a myriad of challenges, from court battles to therapy attempts, all in the pursuit of rekindling their relationship with their estranged children.

The Illusion of Control and the Emotional Cost of Fighting

One of the dilemmas faced by alienated parents is the illusion of control. Many believe they are doing everything right—fighting, showing love, sending messages—only to witness the situation deteriorate further.

Ginger pointed out the emotional and financial toll of this relentless fight. The costs are not just monetary; they encompass emotional exhaustion, blame, and societal stigma. The failure of reunification therapy, an experience shared by many, adds to the despair.

The Cost of Doing Nothing

• On the opposite end of the spectrum lies the choice to give up, a decision laden with its own costs. The option of doing nothing is not as simple as it seems.
• The emotional burden remains, and children, regardless of the situation, need their parents. Waiting for children to figure it out on their own rarely yields positive results.
• Moreover, alienated parents find themselves in a state of limbo, oscillating between giving up and fighting, a state that offers no resolution.

The Third Way: Healing, Preparing, and Rebuilding

• It neither involves giving up nor relentless fighting. Instead, it centers around self-healing, skill development, and the intention to reunite while preparing for the eventual reconciliation.
• "The third way is to seek everything that you can control, which is your mental health, your communication skills, building back your best life," Ginger explained.
• By focusing on personal growth, parents can rebuild their lives and equip themselves with the skills necessary to handle the complexities of rebuilding the relationship with their children.

Embracing the Path of Healing and Reconciliation - Ginger's compassionate approach to parental alienation offers a beacon of hope to countless families trapped in this distressing situation. By recognizing the emotional cost, understanding the illusion of control, and embracing the third way of healing and preparation, parents can navigate the challenging terrain of parental alienation.

"So many parents who are alienated”, 'How do I contact my kid?' That's the easy part. What's hard is rebuilding the relationship," said Ginger. 

 With determination, self-care, and the right support, parents can embark on the journey of rekindling their relationships with their estranged children, transforming pain into healing, and estrangement into reunion.

The FB live events are held every Tuesday 7pm ET/6pm CT/5pm MT/4pm PT

Do you want to learn more about working with Ginger?

Here are three easy ways:

1. Watch her free half hour webinar on how to reunite by copying what works (and avoid the biggest traps). https://www.reversingparentalalienation.com/sign-up 
2. Sign up for her Roadmap to Reverse Parental Alienation Course with group coaching https://www.reversingparentalalienation.com/offers/iEzFGCzC
3. Learn about working with Ginger one on one as a coach  https://www.reversingparentalalienation.com/Coaching 

Sending you a big hug and may you reunite soon!