Navigating Thanksgiving Without Your Kids: Finding Gratitude in the Heartache

Dear Moms & Dads, 

As Thanksgiving approaches, we want to take a moment to connect with you, especially if you’re still on the journey to reunite with your child. This season can bring up a mix of emotions—hope, heartache, longing—but through it all, one truth remains: you are not alone.

From all of us at Reversing Parental Alienation, we want to remind you that the love you hold for your child is powerful and enduring, even across the miles or years. This holiday season, we encourage you to shift your focus inward: celebrate the resilience you’ve built, nurture your own growth, and honor the love that fuels your journey.

To make this holiday even more meaningful, each of our coaches has shared a heartfelt message filled with tips, encouragement, past experiences, and love to help guide you through this season. Ginger has recorded a meditation (top of page) designed to help you find calm, clarity, and hope on Thanksgiving morning. Wherever you are, let this be a moment of peace to center yourself.

And if you’re not in America, know that these messages and practices can be applied to any holiday or celebration where family and connection are top of mind.

Why Gratitude Is So Important For Navigating Thanksgiving Without Your Kids

As a parent, your children are often on your mind, even when they aren't sitting next to you at the dinner table. This is why gratitude goes so far in helping us create the comfort we need, even when children aren't with us. Here are some insights from our coaches that will help you find relief in the alienation from your child(ren) this Thanksgiving:

From Ginger: 
"Holidays can be a bittersweet time, but they also offer an opportunity to honor your love for your child in meaningful ways. If you're feeling sadness, remember that it's okay—it’s a sign of your deep, loving heart. Take five, ten, or even twenty minutes to sit with those feelings. Let them flow, thank them for what they’re showing you, and then release them to the universe with love.

When it feels right, you can celebrate your child from afar by cooking their favorite meal or sharing family recipes. Post photos or videos of the meal preparation on social media, not with messages of "We miss you," but with hope and excitement like, "This is Brian's favorite stuffed turkey recipe, and I can’t wait to share it with him next year!" These small acts can help you feel connected, even from a distance.

Before the meal, take a moment to think of your child and send them love. Imagine them happy, safe, and surrounded by care. If the day feels too heavy, treat it as a regular day or consider volunteering to bring joy to others. Whatever you do, hold onto hope—next year can and will be better.

From Joedy:
"Before I reunited, holidays always brought up so many painful feelings and thoughts. Allowing myself some time to cry, kick, and scream was important. When I disregarded these feelings, I was adding pressure to a pressure cooker that would release steam in the worst moments, accidentally hurting the people around me. I found many ways to give my pain an outlet such as working out, doing art or journaling, horseback riding, getting a deep tissue massage, safely smashing old dishes, or doing anything physical with the intention of RELEASING the YUCK out of me so that I could make room and space for something NEW. Another powerful action step for me was finding a community, program, or an event to join where I felt a sense of belonging and purpose. Having fun with being there and with those around me.

Hold your heart and ride the waves. Send your kids love. Imagine what being together again looks like, feels like, smells like. Say it. Claim it. A few affirmations to consider:

          “I am a loving parent who is in the process of reuniting”
          “I trust myself, I love myself, I build from here.”
          “My actions today take me one step closer to my child(ren).”
          “My child(ren) need a strong, healthy, and stable parent. That parent is ME.”

From David:
"For holidays, I found comfort in giving gifts that couldn't be rejected, like charitable acts done in honor of my children. I also invited those without family to celebrate with me, turning my holiday into a time of connection and purpose. Even though my children weren’t with me, this helped me stay grounded and positive."

From Adina:
"Holidays can be a challenging time for separated or divorced families. Whether you split the holiday (or the holiday weekend) or have the kids every other year it's best to confirm the plan well in advance so there are no unexpected surprises. Holiday parenting time exchanges can be more peaceful by focusing on the children, honoring the exchange times, and respecting that children love both parents - even if the traditions at each parent's home may be different.

We want our children to remember joyful holidays, not conflict."

4 Ways To Make Thanksgiving Meaningful As An Alienated Parent

Don't have your kids with you? Take some time to enjoy fond memories from years' past - recipes, photos or kids' artwork. Or try a new recipe!

Being part of a community can bring some simple joy - share a Friendsgiving dinner, enjoy a Turkey Day 5K, or volunteer to prepare meals for others.

Coach Adina keeps these 'Blue Zones tips for a healthier Thanksgiving in her Joy of Cooking cookbook amidst an assorted collection of scribbled notes, fond recipes, and children's holiday artwork.

1. Give THANKS 
2. Since it's hard to resist filling your plate when it all looks so good, use SMALLER plates.
3. Add COLOR to your table. Make simple substitutions for extra nutritional content - stuffing made with wild rice instead of white bread, baked sweet potatoes with pecans & cinnamon instead of mashed potatoes with butter, salt, and cream, etc.
4. Serve a midday meal and take a walk together after the meal.

From Lisa
"As the holidays approach, remember that this season can look different and still be meaningful. It’s okay to create new traditions or plan non-traditional activities—what matters is the love and effort you put into them. If you choose to send a gift, let it be just that: a gift, with no expectations or strings attached. And please, from a child’s perspective, it’s important to feel supported in maintaining connections with both sides of the family, including grandparents, aunts, and uncles. Avoid guilt or shame about their choices, as it helps foster a sense of safety and respect in their relationships. Your understanding and flexibility make all the difference."

It Gets Better - Being An Alienated Parent On Thanksgiving Isn't The End

This Thanksgiving, we’re standing beside you, believing in your strength and your ability to keep moving forward. Visualize the future, send love from afar, create new traditions, find gratitude and growth, and remember you are not alone. Wherever you are on your journey, know that brighter days are ahead, and each step you take brings you closer to the love and connection you deserve.

We know that during this time of the year emotions can run high, which just means you have to keep finding comfort & gratitude for what you do have. And, for your potential future reunification with your children in the future. 

You're appreciated and loved, and we sincerely hope you have an amazing Thanksgiving this year.

With love and hope,

The Reversing Parental Alienation Family